Realised

The wall that we painted together
with our little hands,
Still holds the memory
Of our bond
When we, two kids
Ran the fields
And skinned our knees
In that little town, decades ago;
Maybe it was then, I realised
That you have got the kind of voice
that could heal any of my wounds

That last bench in the class
Saw us being inseparable.
From school assemblies
To college assignments,
We ruined and made each other’s days
Maybe it was then that I realised
That you got the kind of eyes
I could spend a staring, for a lifetime

Those years we spent
Falling for each other
Came crashing down
When he took you away
Maybe it was then that I realised
That you were the kind of girl
That only deserved happiness

So, when we decided to meet in a coffee shop
In the big old city, decades later
I saw a different woman walking in
You don’t walk the same
And you smell a lot like expensive fragrances and cigarettes
And when you talked, I couldn’t recognise the voice
Which once healed me;
I saw a lady with no traces of past left on her soul
Maybe it was then that I realised,
That I should let the past be past

To the days when we could fly…

Remember when we thought we were in love?

But we were just two kids,

Running along the woods,

Discovering new paths

And fantasising rustling leaves;

The canopy fooled us

And we let it fool us;

The yellow ray of sunlight

Made my cheeks blush pink

And you kissed me there

To mark your territory

Remember when we thought nothing could do us apart?

Unaware about the oceans and boundaries,

distance and timings

We owned the moment

And held each other tight

Remember when we were little but still could reach the skies?

Happiness came easily

And pain chose to stay at a distance

Remember when we knew nothing about the world but everything still made much more sense than now?

Wants and needs,

Pride and greed

Didn’t exist

And we waved smiles to every passerby

Remember when we believed in everything?

The world was a simpler place back then

And happiness and love

Were a compulsion

And not merely illusions

But despite the decades of living in lies and traps

I somehow believe

That happiness still resides here

If only we could unlearn everything that made us who we are today,

And go back to the days

When we knew we could fly,

Even if the wings grew heavy.

You, my friend.

When I spend days crying over him
You, my friend,
You spend days trying to make me smile
I fell for him,
But it is you who catch me every time

When I spend nights talking about him,
You listen.
You listen as if I’m talking about you
With utmost attention,
Staring back at the sparkle in my eyes when I say his name
You, my friend,
Weren’t you ever jealous?
But you always found your happiness in me
And I found mine in him

What made me so naive?

When he didn’t show up
And the candles blew off
You, my friend,
You blew me balloons
And sang me lullabies
We sat under the starlit sky talking about our favourite Coldplay songs
And I found home
On your shoulders that night
I guess it was too tough for you to see my tears

How did I become so blind?

When I fell in love with him
You fell in love with me

You, my friend,
You showered me with love
When I was deserted and broken

You, my friend,
You fixed me like a puzzle
Because you knew my broken pieces all too well.

Sugar Coated Love

Although I’ve always
admired silence,
I like my heart to keep beating
And drumming
And roaring
And sobbing;
I want it to rhythm
with all the pain in the world
so that it creates a music in you
which only we can hear


I want it to hurt
And I want it to heal
If that could get me any closer
to the feeling of
being with you


If only all the love I’ve ever wasted
Can find its way back to you
Because I’ve always been obsessed
for the unknown they say,
I’ve always fallen for places I’ve
Never been to
And I’ve loved people
I’ve never met


Come whatever,
I still believe,
Vulnerability is bravery.


I’ve heard brokenness
cannot be recovered from
If only these wounds could stop bleeding for once
If only your memories could stop
pouring salt over it


But I still believe,
That love is bitter
And sugarcoated
And every time that you leave
I can feel my heart tearing apart
I can see myself being
weak and strong,
all at once.


What is love if it’s not heartbreak?
What is pain if it can’t make you go numb?
Love is a gain
and a loss
In this labyrinth of utter darkness
I only see the path that
leads to you
What is love if it can’t kill you?
What is love if it can’t make you feel alive?

Till The Dawn Breaks In

These chaos have been too loud lately
The background noise
Of lies and arrogance
Have made it difficult
For me to sleep now
And I lay there
Motionless
As I let numbness take me over
I let the night engulf me in its loneliness
And I sit in urge to hear a voice
I haven’t heard since ages
Perhaps it too lost its way
While looking for me
This place is too crowded
Crowded with people that don’t matter at all to me
And the ones that do,
Are somewhere miles away
Probably unaware
That I am talking to the moon about them
They will just never know
But the stars do
And so they stay with me
Till the dawn breaks in
Holding me together
So that I don’t break apart
And it’s true when they say
That the nights are for the lonely
But honestly, I swear it gets so hard to even breathe at times
And I find myself wishing
That the light could crash through my window
And guide my life a way
So that it can make a little more sense to me
Loudness can sure shut out the fears
As it hides away the haunting shouts
That goes inside my own head
But they shut out the whispers of affection as well
And so when I look around for love
I know it has lost its way already.

I Don’t Wish To Be Found

For once,
I don’t wish to be found

I’ll follow the wind
Or perhaps the moon
If only it knows where it’s going
Because I don’t

Because I don’t know
who I am
Or where I belong

And now that I’m so lost,
I don’t wish to be found.

I’ll unmask myself
Maybe, you won’t
recognize me then
Because I’ve been lost and found before
Just to get lost again somehow
But this time,
just this moment
I don’t wish to be found.

If these crossroads
can confuse me any further,
Then I’ll walk through them
In a zig-zag way
And hope to go far
Where even the maps can’t find me

Because belonging somewhere
is not for me
And I’ll still be lost,
even if I know the way.

So, if you ever come across a girl
who wanders like she owns the world,
And you find yourself unable to catch her
In your trap of lies,
Don’t show her the way

Just know that
She don’t wish to be found.